How to Be Open-Minded In a Divisive & Hostile Culture

Note: the words “opposite” and “opposition” appear frequently in this text. This is to distinguish casual disagreements from fiercer and deeper differences in political, social, and religious opinions. They are intended as precise and candid terms for the intense division this country is experiencing; the hardest people to remain fair and open-minded with, after all, are our outright opposites.

Open-mindedness is dying.

Honest open-mindedness belongs to a dwindling minority in our modern, hyper-reactive culture. The societal gap ever widens. As its dark jaws split further apart, radicalism sucks many into its shadowed depths, where some fear they may never escape. Once seeds of hatred germinate, they become challenging to uproot.

From the 2010s and through the 2020s, the gaping schism that is Western politics has splintered nations like America in which once-shared ideals and traditions are now subject to fierce debate and mockery. Progressivism wars against conservatism. Democrats and Republicans conduct elaborate political games to outwit and outmaneuver each other at the expense of any farcical notion of "the common good."

Pulsing beneath the leprous flesh of this culture war is a spiritual heartbeat governed by the forces of good and evil—the timeless struggle that exceeds man's humble scientific logic.

Make no mistake; man alone cannot achieve each new height of madness in society. Willful ignorance and irrationality, and the astonishing capacity we humans have to hate, suffer tremendously at the hands of influences far greater than us.

In this present day, when evil is replied to with more evil and infectious anger, hostility, and hypocritical exposés proliferate our media, entertainment, online interactions, and daily lives, we must make conscious choices about how we wish to be. We can imitate society and subscribe to hate campaigns like we do YouTube channels—via emotional appeal and based on who we agree with—or we can maintain our personal convictions thoughtfully and unobtrusively.

Of course, certain situations will demand a firm defense of our convictions to make the right choices. A liberal will not bend on treating minorities with dignity and kindness, and a Christian, when asked to deny God, will not do so because he knows from Whom his salvation comes. Times will challenge all of us on what we believe, and we must prepare to forfeit everything from job opportunities to friendships and good standing with family for the causes and ideals most dear to us. But if it is possible—and it is more possible than we may immediately believe—we should strive to live peaceably with everyone.

How does that look practically?

1. Exit the Echo Chamber

Most people tend to consume content and entertainment from creators who share similar beliefs. This isn't inherently bad and reveals a fundamental fact about human nature: we have in-group preferences and prefer to associate with "our own."

But if all one ingests is self-affirming media, they cannot develop nuanced thoughts and opinions. They exist perpetually in an echo chamber in which their own beliefs repeatedly resonate, never picking up an additional tune and never straying into fresh, life-changing directions. The echo chamber is where growth spurts stifle, and potential new life dies. It's a termination zone, and the only way out is through the eyes of others.

2. Befriend Your Opposites

You may have heard family or friends say they'd never associate with an (X, Y, Z) or even disown someone who chose a specific religion, lifestyle, partner, etc. Unfortunately, it is true that we can't and shouldn't form deep relationships with everyone we meet; some individuals aren't compatible with us and would do more harm than good if we kept them as close company.

However, when not applied to someone who raises grave concerns, this perception is faulty and inexcusably insensitive. When we deny misguided or otherwise decent people any position in our lives, we confess that we cannot tolerate them as men and women with basic human dignity and inherent value. When our friend circles are void of mixed opinions and beliefs, we risk echo chambering, yes—we forgo any benefits we may acquire from intellectual, cultural, and other such diversity—but we also harden our hearts against people.

It's difficult to feel tenderness for those who are different from us when we don't allow them anywhere in our lives. This heart-hardening is ultimately how hatred forms. Relentless "othering" turns people into props against which we can hurl our abuse, but we can prevent this by forming and maintaining respectful, considerate, mutually understanding connections with non-like-minded souls.

3. Know Your Boundaries and Respect Theirs

Just as irreligious folks tend to despise evangelism and liberal-minded people dislike archaic-seeming traditions, conservatives usually loathe receiving social justice warrior sermons and being condescendingly "educated." Certain groups have hot-button topics and boundaries they don't wish to discuss or cross. When navigating a tinderbox world, we should be mindful of that and not intentionally instigate problems.

People of faith, activists, and advocates have the right to communicate their beliefs and concerns at will. Sharing worldviews and dialoguing about deeply held opinions can bring people closer together and spark meaningful conversations about serious issues; it may even influence people to your side!

But suppose you've pushed the Gospel a little too hard with your coworker, or you're having conversations in inappropriate places, or you're noticing that your statements aren't registering well with the other person/group. In that case, it may be time to pull back and recognize you've violated a boundary. It's good to talk to people who disagree with you, but this should be done tactfully. Give it a few tries before you stop and course-correct. And don't remain in conversations or situations that demand you to reject your own values. Stay firm in your mind and soft in the heart.

4. Gently Correct “Your Own”

Part of keeping healthy social circles includes being mindful and intentional about your like-minded friends. Do we tend to blindly agree with their statements about our cultural/social/political opposition? If someone asserts that all liberals are degenerates or all conservatives are bigots, do we wholeheartedly agree? Moreover, do we actually believe that ourselves, or are we going along to get along?

While it's inevitable that picking a side will damage your perception of the opposite—and strong enough opinions about good and evil will force you to resist your opposition either through voting and political demonstrations or passive participation in certain movements—it's untrue that everything about the people across the proverbial aisle is wrong and evil.

Remember, this mentality creates "othering" and eventual hatred. Especially for religious people, we know that we do not wrestle purely against flesh and blood but against supernatural wickedness in high places (Ephesians 6:12). So, if we allow our like-minded friends to make unchecked hateful statements and remain unchallenged in their narrow perceptions of others, we've failed our friends and our opposition.

Remind your friends and circles that the opposition, while they are the opposition to your values and beliefs, aren't inhuman. They aren't to be debased or insulted. It's fine to have candid discussions about the ills we see in society. Still, if your side is prone to hating, making blanket statements, and perpetuating an "us vs. them" mentality, it's time to remind them of what they're actually up against... and it's not our fellow man.

5. Defend Your Opposites when They’re Wronged

Whether they're a friend or foe, defending those who believe differently from us when they're unfairly treated is imperative. Overblown or inaccurate judgments of character, twisting of someone's words, refusal to listen to their side/empathize, and senseless verbal and emotional attacks are just a few examples of how we can each be wronged.

Wouldn't it feel nice to know that even our opposites have our backs when we're being dealt a rather nasty dish in life? Would we be able to set aside our pride to defend them in their hour of need?

Voting differently or having conflicting religions or lifestyle choices never excuses us from feeling compassion and justice for other people. As we are all misjudged or mistreated at one point, we should care deeply when this happens to others, regardless of whether we agree with them.

Did a politician's phrasing get contorted into something it's not, or did someone share their honest perspective of something your side did, and your side didn't take kindly to that perception? Be courageous to confront falsehoods wherever you find them, and remember that opposition never warrants hatred or blind bandwagoning. Be able to admit when the other side has it right or when your own side wronged them. In doing this, you preserve fairness and resist the urge to make yourself feel superior by demeaning them.

6. Refuse to Hate… Anyone, Ever

It doesn't matter if it's the president, a WEF leader, a political pundit you find despicable, or someone you deem to be the worst human being who ever lived... you mustn't stoop to hatred, ever. The moment you plant the hatred seed, you give it permission to grow roots deep into every fiber of your being, enabling it to form fruits of evil and inhumanity inside you. Even if someone is truly wicked and seems irredeemable to you, hating that person does considerably more harm than good.

You're certainly allowed to dislike people, even passionately, and you may vehemently disagree with their opinions and practices. But hatred, at any time and in any form, toward any person, is fundamentally wrong, unprofitable, and destructive to your own wellness.

No matter how obnoxious, disgusting, or disheartening someone is, you do yourself no favors when you hate them. Hatred warps you. Instead of hating, pull back and acknowledge that the person you feel so strongly about is human. Maybe they don't seem human, and perhaps their actions are so atrocious as to induce nausea, but we must remind ourselves that evil and evildoers will be justly punished in due time. If you believe in God, you know vengeance is His and no one else's. You also understand that you are called to love your enemies and pray for them; that's quite different from slamming them on social media for brownie points from your friends!

Refuse to descend to the ultimately bottomless abyss that is hatred. Hatred and "othering" influence each other, and the more we give into our intense emotions, the more control we give them. I'd rather not be ruled by my dark, fleshly instincts to hate if I can choose instead to obey God's desires, even if it seems like the most challenging and unlikely thing for me to do.

7. Pull Back from Politics

Sometimes, we all need to shut off the TV and simply step away from the political arena. Not only is the media deeply biased and prone to playing both sides for rage views, but it's also not healthy to obsess over issues that are largely beyond our control. I like to stay informed myself. But at certain points, I can't bear to ingest any more depressing information, so I skip the political podcasts for a period and detox.

Additionally, I am cultivating an attitude of not immediately disliking or distancing myself from people based solely on their chosen political party or voting habits. While I won't spend time with or support radicals and extreme behaviors or beliefs, I refuse to restrict my association sphere to just liberals or conservatives. Donkeys and elephants both serve unique purposes in the animal kingdom and the "Left" and "Right" have innately valuable traits, too.

I definitely lean much more to one side of the ideological aisle than the other. However, I try to appreciate the intentions and outcomes of what both sides are doing (depending on what it is and how far it's being pushed) and will not demonize someone, regardless of who they voted for. Do I have the right to be upset and confused by who others choose to lead my country? Absolutely. But raging about it or attacking someone's character or intelligence for making what I consider misguided decisions isn't acceptable.

While people's poor choices may be fun to discuss privately with humor and lamentation, it's wholly inappropriate to weaponize someone's politics against them to the point that you alienate them and destroy their image. Keep your thoughts to yourself as often as possible, and challenge your beliefs about the other side; there's a lot more to each of us than our red, blue, or purple social boxes.

8. Don’t Deify Your Heroes

Do you adore any prominent political leaders or figureheads? How about a particularly charming talk show host or lawmaker? If we're honest, we humans all have our "favorite" people, and we tend to gravitate toward those in positions of power who represent our beliefs.

There's nothing evil about supporting or liking an individual who "gets" us. What becomes dangerous is mindless hero worship. When we can't or won't consider the flaws in our favorites, we get sucked straight into the spinning blades inside the echo chamber—and out pops our mangled senses of self-awareness and intellectual honesty.

Your heroes don't deserve the pedestals you place them on. They aren't golden calves, that you should bow down to them as gods. Far from it! Protect yourself from radicalization by refusing to see even those nearest and dearest to you as flawless.

Dig deep enough into some leaders, and you'll discover scandals and family skeletons peeking out of the closet. Some of them have shady business deals or narcissism so grandiose, it practically bleeds through the sleeves they so carelessly wear their hearts upon. Others are indeed impactful but at the expense of many people's well-being. And you may discover that still others aren't at all who you thought they were and just want to watch the world burn. Would you romanticize the Joker if he terrorized your town just because he's a famous character?

9. Consider Why Someone Believes Something

Suppose you're an atheist, and for the most part, you can't stand evangelism and the spreading of the "Good News," as Christians call it... is it possible you could consider, for a moment, why Christians believe so strongly in promoting the Gospel? If Hell is a real place of genuine, everlasting torment, earned and deserved by men who rejected Jesus Christ in their lifetimes, don't you think it's probably important that the Christian in your life tells you about Him and what salvation entails? Is it really meant to annoy and target you, or is this sharing done out of concern and love?

And suppose you're utterly confounded by the transgender community and the growing population of young people who identify with different "neo" genders, pronouns, and sexualities... could you potentially consider why so many youth are questioning themselves in this modern age? And could you, perhaps, muster some compassion for those who feel utterly disjointed from their birth sex, to the point that they purchase costly, dangerous, and life-altering surgeries in an attempt to restore some sense of inner belonging and peace in their lives?

Remember, you don't have to support the actions and choices of your opposition. But the next time you're tempted to scoff at someone who seems obnoxious or delusional, pause and consider what deep, bedrock motive drives their decisions.

Maybe they're confused and hurting. Maybe they're desperate for an anchor in these whiplash waves called life. Maybe they just don't want you to go to Hell. Whatever their motive—whether you agree with it or not—acknowledge it and how it affects the behavior you've come to resent in your opposites.

10. Assert Individuality and Question Your Communities

With every community comes an understanding that specific rules and beliefs will be respected, and others will not be tolerated. If a faith group were to forfeit the teachings of their religious text to make themselves more relevant and tolerable to their culture, this faith group would be useless; it fails to preserve its moral standards and the instructions given to it by its deity. And if a scientist were to make bold claims in the scientific community about an aspect of his field, willfully disregarding well-established rules of nature, he would rightly be scolded and corrected for his statements.

In life, we have to play well with others, and each circle or community requires sacrifices to be made to fit into the group. A murderer cannot be allowed to live freely in polite society with no repercussions for his crimes. A Muslim woman will not remove her head covering in public, or she risks severe reprimand for ignoring the rules of her faith. We don't always have to like these rules and restrictions, but the fact is, every group has some stipulation attached to being part of it.

However, in group settings, it's easy for "hive-mind" mentalities to persist. Hatred and "othering" proliferate in tightly-knit communities that are so hard and heavy on their identities, that anyone remotely outside of these strictures is a pariah and a deserving object of mockery.

A conservative might tell someone they're pathetic and weak because they claim to be a conservative yet are very invested in the arts. A liberal might tell a fellow liberal they're fake because they don't subscribe to every form of activism other liberals do. And a moderate might be considered useless because they have a more balanced view of things and don't passionately support the bipartisan complex.

As someone who identifies strongly with a certain side, I have little tolerance for people who are theoretically "my own" yet espouse mindless bumper sticker slogans as legitimate arguments and live unthinkingly by their deification of favorite political leaders. I'm also not fond of their relentless, cyclical statements about the opposition that are never meant to be anything more than petty jabs. Such uninspiring, non-insightful commentary might make for a quick laugh, but it's hardly the kind of conversation fit for opening hearts and minds and affecting real change. If your group believes that anyone is beyond redemption, completely and utterly wicked, totally worthless, or they're hoping someone will die/burn in Hell, it is your job to speak out against this ugliness and remind them Who holds the right to justice... and salvation.

11. Acknowledge Something Neat About the Opposition

Liberals

Something I love about liberals is their appreciation for the arts. I've found many liberals to be creatively inclined, exceptionally talented, abstract artists and thinkers. They tend to be fierce advocates for artistic movements and art's place in our world, whether as part of everyday life or the higher works that require extensive thought. 

Intellectuals by nature, liberals can often think themselves into rabbit holes they can't escape from, but they're also deft-minded enough to conceive of some incredible inventions and works that move and inspire. Liberals also tend to respect and enjoy feelings. As a sentimental, feely person, I love this, even if the emphasis on feelings sometimes goes too far. 

As I understand it, liberals head the suicide prevention and mental wellness movements our society desperately needs. Though they lack the fundamental spiritual understanding of these topics (many do not subscribe to traditional Christianity or teachings on demons and the supernatural realm), I do appreciate their efforts to help people in dire straits receive the love, attention, and care that they need to change—or save—their lives. If you need an empathetic shoulder to cry on, a good liberal will drop everything they're doing to offer that: no judgment attached.

Conservatives

What I love about conservatives is their sensibility, stability, and preservation of tradition. Though today's society is hostile to tradition, I believe conservatives hold back the tidal waves of feelings and fluidity from overtaking us. These practical, no-nonsense go-getters generally love the Lord, obey His Word, and advocate for the protection of values Western society once cherished. As these values continue to erode, the necessity of the conservative becomes more apparent; we need their firm touch, grim determination, family-oriented mindset, godly morals, and solid foundation to clear up some of society's confusion. 

Conservatives aren't known for their artistic appreciation or innovative thinking—nor are they especially sweet or cuddly—but they're overall very underestimated and good people. Solid and faithfully committed, the conservative is who you want to build and nourish the strong backbone of society—along with much of its food and supplies. Conservatives are fairly simple and easily amused, so they don't mind taking on the hard labor and a few callouses on their hands!

Moderates

Moderates tend to have a good blend of all of the above. We usually see eye to eye on some topics, and I have many moderates for friends. I've found them to be easy-going yet thoughtful people who are among the last to cast harsh judgments against anyone for their beliefs. If you seek a stable, independent-minded person with whom you can comfortably share some common ground, the moderate makes a great casual friend.

Conclusion

It is easy to hate. Hatred is an emotion like any other that begs for indulgence and release, and it requires no effort to let it rampage. What requires effort is consciously choosing not to become extremely angry or judgmental about someone's beliefs and decisions.

In an instantly gratifying world, respecting people's free will and human dignity is crucial to developing into a well-rounded person and experiencing inner peace. Want to be a true hard worker? Learn to love your neighbor!

Make no mistake; this isn't easy, and it won't occur overnight. There is no Instant Ramen approach to loving your enemies (or perceived enemies). The only way to properly soften the hard noodles in your heart is gradually, with consistent application of heat.

Are you ready to feel the burn to become a better person?

Additional ways to cultivate open-mindedness:

•Pray for your opposition. (This is a huge one, Christians!)
•Read books by authors with whom you have nothing in common.
•Become thoroughly educated on a topic or two of your choosing, seeking to understand the viewpoints of both sides; use a pros and cons list, if that helps.
•Ask people questions at protests, marches, and parades that your opposition will be attending.
•Investigate someone's religion or identity; try to understand what it means and how it colors your opposition's life.
•Honestly and objectively assess the character and policies of the political candidate at the helm of your party. Are they actually fit to run? Are they very full of themselves or unpredictable? Do they frequently contradict themselves or induce confusion? Then make a holistic "leadership fitness" assessment of that individual.
•Don't go out of your way to be provocative about politics; seek peace with all men.
•Don't call your opposition names, whether it's "Trumpanzee" or "Libtard"—it's childish and petty, and no one really thinks highly of you for doing that.
•Don't assume all liberals voted for Biden, or even like him, or that all conservatives worship Donald Trump. It's okay if people have mixed or unfavorable opinions about their party's current leader.
•Don't radicalize or attack someone if they do like their party's leader. As long as they aren't deifying them, they're entitled to like the person they voted for, even if it was a "lesser of two evils" vote.
•Be polite and encouraging when talking to your non-like-minded friends about your beliefs, especially if you're trying to persuade them to your side. A harsh word incites anger, but a few kind words might soften someone's heart.
•Know that, while your fellow man can do great harm to you, they are not the enemy... the Prince of this world is, and he loves nothing more than to feed on your division and hate.
•Remember that the same judgment you apply to others will be measured against you... so be careful.

With love and respect to all my friends from every corner of the political spectrum,

A fellow concerned American.